So, now that you have followed my fool-proof 5 step plan to make Homeschool Mommy Friends (read post——> here) you have the skills to make new friends. It’s time to start building your group of friends because one friend here or there is great, but a group of friends is AWESOME!
You may be asking me: Why do I need a whole group?
The answer is simple: you need a friend to satisfy all of the many facets of your quirky personality and complex life. Friends are the people you choose to share snippets of your life journey with, so choose friends that fit those snippets. Each of the friends in your group will fulfill a different, but important part of your friendship cup.
Here are the friends I think everyone needs in their group…
(***Note to all of my friends: While I have chosen specific friends to highlight in this post, you are all very valuable to me and most of these categories hold a combination of each of you.***)
The Friend That Is Your Best Friend
Whatever the case, I believe it is absolutely vital to have your one special friend that no matter what, you know that person loves you. A best friend is the person you feel most yourself with because she accepts the good, the bad, and the ugly in you. Your best friend still wants to go out for Girl’s Night with you even when she is the most innocently sweet woman ever, but you take her to see Django because you heard it was good but have no idea what it’s really about. (Right, Denise?)
We live in a society that is constantly moving so it is very possible that you or your best friend will move away from each other. The beauty of your best friend is that no amount of distance between you or time between seeing each other will change the strength of your bond. Talking to your best friend even after months have passed by is like talking to her yesterday.
The Friend That Is Your Cheerleader
Hopefully, we are also a cheerleader for this friend because her positive, encouraging force inspires us to reciprocate.
The Friend That Is Your Mentor
The mentor friend will always be there with experienced words of wisdom. She is the friend that can tell you all of the tips and tricks because she’s already been there and done that. You can ask her for her advice and feel confident that the advice she gives you is sound. She is a fabulous sounding board because she can see the likely path your infantile ideas will take as they come to fruition. I also love that the mentor friend will give you ideas you might never have considered and suddenly you are embarking on an exciting new journey (like homeschooling) because the idea your friend gave you resonates with you (which she knew it would) (Thank you, Dee).
The Friend That Challenges You
The Friend to Have Adventures With
The Friend to Be Healthy With (Or not)
To balance your healthy friend, you also need a friend that will splurge on all of the forbidden fruits with you. I mean… within reason… When you need a scoop or two of ice cream or 5 margaritas, you need a friend that is going to be crawling out the Cantina door with you. It’s possible that your healthy friend can also be this friend (you’ll hate her a little less this way) or you could be this friend for your healthy friend. Either way, I always believe in balance and if you have a weight on the side of health and exercise, you should have a weight on the side of junk food and being lazy.
The Friend You Can Be Weird With
As For Me and My Friends
For several years after I hung up the phone from the phone call where she “broke up with me” I really struggled. I was afraid to be myself. I worried constantly about being a “good” friend to the point that I couldn’t let people in. I couldn’t allow myself to be close to people. I already had a very crumbling self-esteem and that person that was supposed to have been my “BEST” friend for the last 20 years of my life destroyed what was left.
But I’ve come out of the dust stronger. I’ve realized what it is to be a good friend and what it means to have good friends. I work hard to be a positive force in my friends’ lives, encouraging them, uplifting them, loving them, and being there for them. If you read my note at the beginning of my post, I’ve chosen to highlight a few of my friends here, but the reality is that I have filled my life with a huge variety of people. And I try to be a good friend to each of them because I need them, and I hope they need me.
Maybe I am spreading myself too thin and losing the connection with these beautiful women, or maybe I’m just so complex that I need so many people to compliment the many facets of my life. Whatever it is, I have now filled my life with women that are strong, positive, encouraging, and beautiful inside and out. I feel a connection with these women that is more profound than any connection I have ever had before. I have true friends that want to give me a shoulder to cry on when I’m sad and celebrate my joys with me when I am happy.
I hope that I can give each of these women a modicum of comfort knowing that I am their friend. I hope they feel how special they are to me, and know that they have made my life better because they are in it. I hope that all of them know that I am here to be their friend, even when they may feel alone. Because my group, large as it may be, is filled with women I don’t know how I could ever live without.
Karmen your rawness is so refreshing! I love everything you share from your heart. I hope to find my tribe soon 😀 it takes a long time. But I have hope!
Kerbie- Finding a tribe does take time. And it’s ever-evolving as our lives evolve. But you will find your tribe because you are such an amazing young woman with so much fun and joy to give.